To be a little girl and to suffer by yourself, to survive by yourself, is the bravest thing anyone has ever done
Can we please stop treating the desire for loving and genuine relationships with other people as a weakness we need to get over? It’s not wrong or bad to want people to care about you, to pay attention to you, to accept you. Having those desires is not a character flaw you need to work on, it’s a natural and very normal part of being human.
it’s okay to be alone — whether by choice or not.
one day, you will find a person or people who match you in the way that you want and deserve.
Anonymous said:
Do you think there’s something good for me, out in the world? Sometimes I feel like my days are numbered
My friend, I think we forget about how incredibly big the world is. I am not going to say the cliche things like “Life is full of surprises!” etc. Most of the time I say “I will work at a boring job, be lonely and then die.” Because I also forget that there is something in this world that is for me. Humans tend to pick up on the negative, tragic parts of life and forget about the beautiful things. I am saying this as a person who has been depressed since I was 12 years old: The world is horrifyingly beautiful. It is so beautiful and bright that we turn our faces away. Out of 7.8 billion people, you have only met around 1000 at most. Out of all the places, all the things to discover, to cherish; humans can only see a sand particle in a beach. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It doesn’t have to be perfect or “life-changing” as people exaggerate some things. I know this also sounds cliche but the smallest things about your life; the way worms and snails get out in the rain, a kind stranger helping you, a stray cat purring at your feet, smell of the fruit tea in the breakfast… When you start to notice and cherish them, life gets better part by part: I am saying this from experience. Also think about the things you were slightly interested in and then forgot (playing violin, sewing, philosophy, football etc.) and people that you liked but never got close to. The problem is not that “there are no good things for me.” The problem is that there are too many opportunities that, a human’s finite mind can’t handle them at the same time, causing us to be feel confused and depressed. You can’t experience everything in your life (which lasts for 100 years at most) so might as well hang onto the specific ones. The world is beautiful, and you are in it. Please remember this.
You know what! I really believe in the healing power of………… arts n crafts
Like find yourself a cute little project that you can work on a little bit every day whose end result is the actual tangible culmination of your efforts over a sustained period of time, and whether it serves a practical function or one of beauty as an artwork every day after that it’s yours to own and engage with as 1) something that brings joy to your life and 2) a physical reminder of your creativity and the rewards of seeing a goal through and that’s literally priceless tbh. But most importantly of all it’s also very fun lmfao
you’re allowed to get up one day and just decide to change who you are. dress differently, speak up more, laugh out loud even though you’ve never liked your laugh, say what you want to, say hey to people you wouldn’t normally, get that confidence going. we don’t have to stay the way people see us out of the fear that they won’t like the us we want to be.
“You are so used to your features, you don’t know how beautiful you look to a stranger.”— this is so important (via aureat)
humans literally everywhere, across times and places and cultures, are like “oh fuck i MUST create” and then they did, in a milliion different unique ways across a million unique mediums, and i think that’s very endearing and cute of us
6i:
it takes years to develop your craft. do not romanticize the idea of an ‘overnight success’. be a student. grow organically. get really good. hate your work. start over. find new ways to express the same ideas. the student becomes the master. your time will come.
congratulations on getting through the day even if it was really, really hard. you’re doing great.
honestly…it’s ok to just use your skills on yourself! sewing clothes only you to wear, making art to hang up in your own personal area, singing and recording songs for you only to listen to…like not everything has to be for other people’s consumption!
“Yesterday, I spent 60 dollars on groceries, took the bus home, carried both bags with two good arms back to my studio apartment and cooked myself dinner. You and I may have different definitions of a good day. This week, I paid my rent and my credit card bill, worked 60 hours between my two jobs, only saw the sun on my cigarette breaks and slept like a rock. Flossed in the morning, locked my door, and remembered to buy eggs. My mother is proud of me. It is not the kind of pride she brags about at the golf course. She doesn’t combat topics like, ”My daughter got into Yale” with, ”Oh yeah, my daughter remembered to buy eggs” But she is proud. See, she remembers what came before this. The weeks where I forgot how to use my muscles, how I would stay as silent as a thick fog for weeks. She thought each phone call from an unknown number was the notice of my suicide. These were the bad days. My life was a gift that I wanted to return. My head was a house of leaking faucets and burnt-out lightbulbs. Depression, is a good lover. So attentive; has this innate way of making everything about you. And it is easy to forget that your bedroom is not the world, That the dark shadows your pain casts is not mood-lighting. It is easier to stay in this abusive relationship than fix the problems it has created. Today, I slept in until 10, cleaned every dish I own, fought with the bank, took care of paperwork. You and I might have different definitions of adulthood. I don’t work for salary, I didn’t graduate from college, but I don’t speak for others anymore, and I don’t regret anything I can’t genuinely apologize for. And my mother is proud of me. I burned down a house of depression, I painted over murals of greyscale, and it was hard to rewrite my life into one I wanted to live But today, I want to live. I didn’t salivate over sharp knives, or envy the boy who tossed himself off the Brooklyn bridge. I just cleaned my bathroom, did the laundry, called my brother. Told him, “it was a good day.”— Kait Rokowski, “A Good Day” (via oofpoetry)
september will be kind. september will be magical. september will bring the missing energy. september will be working towards our goals and self. september will be a month full of growth.
fleurison-deactivated20190824:
may you get a sign this week that shows you that you’re on the right path and that things are flowing and moving in your favor. may the sign be evident, clear, and direct
i urge you to seek comfort in the fact that everything in the universe is subtly interconnected. it didn’t work out the way you wanted it to but you’ll end up where you need to be. keep your head up.